Explaining Complex PTSD, Part 2: Healing Spiritual Trauma and Recovering Faith After Church Hurt
For many women, the deepest wounds didn’t just come from trauma “out there.”
They came from the places that were supposed to offer safety, healing, and hope.
They came from the church.
If you’ve ever left a service feeling more ashamed than comforted…
If you’ve ever sat confused and paralyzed through a sermon on forgiving and forgetting while your abuser cast glares of accusation at you…
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me—or is something deeply wrong with this teaching?”
You're not alone.
And no, you're not being rebellious, unfaithful, or dramatic.
You may be carrying the effects of spiritual trauma—a form of complex PTSD that emerges not just from what was said in God’s name, but how it was used to control, shame, or silence you.
When Faith Is Twisted into Fear
God never designed the church to be a place of fear. But sometimes, distorted interpretations of Scripture are used to manipulate, suppress, or emotionally wound.
Over time, that spiritual manipulation becomes a trauma of its own.
You may not have had the language for it back then. You just knew something felt off:
You were told to “submit” in a way that erased your voice.
You were taught that suffering was godly, but boundaries were selfish.
You were praised for enduring mistreatment—and guilted for walking away.
You were encouraged to “deny yourself” but never taught that you matter too.
These experiences don’t just affect your relationship with the church.
They can affect your relationship with yourself—and with God.
The Overlap Between CPTSD and Spiritual Abuse
In Part 1 of this series, I described how CPTSD rewires your nervous system to anticipate danger—especially in relationships where power is misused.
Spiritual abuse is especially harmful because it confuses power with holiness. It masks control as “godly” leadership, disappearing oneself as humility, fear as reverence, and silence as submission.
And so you might still feel it today:
A knot in your stomach when someone quotes Scripture.
Guilt when you try to rest, say no, or honor your needs.
Fear that God is disappointed in you—because someone taught you that He was.
Shame for even questioning the teachings that kept you small.
This isn’t rebellion. This is discernment.
This isn’t a loss of faith. This is the beginning of healing.
How Harmful Theology Can Keep You Stuck
Let’s name a few distorted beliefs that many women have internalized—beliefs that can keep CPTSD alive in the heart, mind, and body.
“Forgiveness means forgetting.”
This message keeps many survivors tethered to toxic relationships.
True forgiveness never asks you to silence your pain, stay in harm’s way, or erase your boundaries.
Jesus forgave, and He also walked away, confronted, and spoke truth.
“You must die to self.”
When taught without balance, this verse is often used to glorify self-neglect.
There is a difference between dying to sin and erasing your God-given identity.
God calls you to love others as you love yourself. (Mark 12:31) That means your needs, emotions, and voice matter.
“God hates divorce.”
This verse, taken out of context, has trapped many women in abusive marriages.
We’re told that God doesn’t delight in broken covenants as a way of convincing an abuse victim to stay in the marriage. The truth is, when abuse occurs, the covenant has already been broken—not by the victim seeking to leave the marriage, but by the one who abused. God never asks His daughters to stay in harm's way to appear faithful. (Psalm 34:18)
A covenant that destroys you is not one God requires you to keep.
“The heart is deceitful.”
This often-used verse (Jeremiah 17:9) has led many women to distrust their own intuition, gut instincts, and discernment.
However, Job 38:36 tells us that God has put wisdom in the inward parts and given understanding to the mind. I Corinthians 2:11 asks, “For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him?”
Verses like these assure us it is safe to trust our gut. God often speaks through your body, your peace, your instincts—and your unease.
God’s Heart Was Never for Your Harm
If someone used God’s name to control you, shame you, or keep you small, I want to say this clearly:
That was never God.
That was never Jesus.
That was never love.
Jesus didn’t shame women—He lifted them.
He didn’t silence them—He honored their voice.
He didn’t bind them in fear—He called them into freedom.
What Healing Can Look Like
Healing from spiritual abuse and CPTSD takes time, gentleness, and courage. You may be unlearning decades of teaching that confused fear with faith.
But healing is possible. And your relationship with God can become richer, freer, and more intimate—not less.
Here are some places to start:
Name the harm.
You’re allowed to say, “That hurt me.”
God already knows your heart. You’re not dishonoring Him by telling the truth.
Redefine your faith.
You can love Jesus and still question harmful theology.
You can leave a church building and still walk closely with God.
Reclaim your voice.
Your discernment, emotions, and needs are not rebellious.
They are part of how God speaks through you and to you.
Find a safe spiritual community.
Surround yourself with people who don’t silence doubt or demand perfection—people who walk in grace, truth, and love.
Get support.
Spiritual trauma can be hard to untangle alone. A faith-sensitive, trauma-informed therapist can help you reconnect with both your voice and God.
A Final Word for the Wounded
If this resonates with you, I want to speak directly to the part of you that’s still afraid—afraid that God is disappointed in you, or that you're walking away from Him by walking away from what hurt you.
Dear friend, you are not walking away from God.
You are walking toward Him—perhaps for the first time, without shame.
Hear His gentle invitation…
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28)
He never asked you to stay small.
He never asked you to carry the weight of someone else’s sin.
He never asked you to ignore your pain in the name of faithfulness.
You are healing from something that should never have been done in His name.
And if that still feels hard to believe…
I’ll believe it for you until you can believe it for yourself.
Ready to Start Healing?
If you’re navigating spiritual trauma or complex PTSD, you don’t have to face it alone. Through my newsletter, you’ll receive faith-sensitive, trauma-informed guidance, reflections, and tools to help you process experiences, rebuild trust, and nurture your peace.
For personalized support, you can also schedule a confidential consultation. Together, we’ll create a plan tailored to your unique story and work toward restoring your emotional and spiritual well-being.
Sign up for the newsletter to receive ongoing support and insights—and book a consultation when you’re ready to take the next step on your healing journey.
With warmth and love,
Charlene Richardson, LMHC & Life Coach
